A Light That Never Goes Out
by queenofsquee23
Summary: This is a story about falling in love. Eventually. It's Kurt Hummel's first year of college and let's just say he's in for an interesting year. Kurtbastian fanfic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Just would like to mention how this fic starts out with Klaine, but will be very much Kurtbastian. I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

Sometimes, stories are written about lucky people: they meet the right person; they like them; they love them, and they live out the rest of their lives together. But in real life, sometimes people are not so lucky: they meet someone; they like them; they love them so much they can't imagine loving anyone else, and then they lose them. Or they leave them. Either way, it doesn't work out. But it usually makes for a much more compelling story. There are stories where great loves stem from friendship. They even tell tails where love stems from aversion. Then there are the tragic stories where some people never find love at all.

Sometimes, if you're Kurt Hummel, you meet someone; you hate them; you leave them; you find them; you tolerate them; you like them; you lose them; you hate them; you hate them again for good measure and then you fall madly, hopelessly and irrevocably in love with them.

This is that story.

* * *

NYADA. It was the last great hurdle. Once he made it there, Kurt could make it anywhere. Or so he thought.

His summer before college was spent in a blur of lazy Saturdays, more often and not, with Blaine by his side. They could be sipping a coffee in the Lima Bean, reading a book in the backyard, eating, sleeping, shopping, just being. Moments were peppered with soft kisses and innocent little words of nothings and everythings. Bliss. Kurt was content. Kurt was happy.

All the while, fall hung over them like a broken promise, cutting their time together too short. Every time they thought about it, they realised the time they actually had together was getting less and less and less. And less. Until one day, _the day_ arrived, and they finally had to say goodbye.

"I love you."

"I love you. _So_ much." Breathed Kurt. And it was more than just a declaration; it was a promise. A promise that Kurt was leaving high school, leaving Lima, but he wasn't leaving Blaine.

Foreheads pressed together, they shared hugs, caresses, long lingering gazes, taking in everything they could of each other one last time before the seemly endless months apart they had in front of them. Neither one said 'I'll miss you;' they already missed each other with every fibre of their beings. So instead of uttering another word, they poured everything into a kiss. Lips met lips and Kurt and Blaine were whole. Kurt didn't cry. He wanted to look his best the last time Blaine saw him for months. So before he broke down, he pulled Blaine into a fierce embrace, inhaled him, picked up his bag and walked through the airport to the terminal he had to board his plane from.

He walked away from high school, he walked away from Lima, and although he didn't know it at the time, he walked away from his and Blaine's last kiss.

(TBC)


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt's dad had left Kurt and Blaine to their emotional goodbye, before following his son to the check in desk.

"Ready for this, kiddo?" he asked. Burt had been asking the same question all summer, all the time Kurt was packing, all the way to the airport.

"Yes, dad" Kurt replied, same as always, but with a little more conviction each time.

"I'm so, so proud of you, son," Burt pulled Kurt into a fierce hug.

Kurt offered back a watery smile.

"You're going to knock 'um dead, you know that, right?"

"I hope so." Truth be told, Kurt was proud of himself too. He had a dream, and he fought tooth and nail for it. He was just one of thousands of applicants and he won. He was the one going to NYADA.

"Now, I've spoken to Rachel's dads. They're still in New York helping her settle in and they said they'll be waiting for you, to make sure you're okay."

"I know dad, we've gone over the plan only about a thousand times! I'm going to get on the plane, get a taxi to the apartment, call you the second I'm there. I'll unpack, I'll go to school. And I'll see you again before Christmas."

Burt just nodded at his son. It was times like these he remembered he wasn't a little boy anymore. He was all grown up. It was times like these it was easier to see him go off into the world on his own – easier, but never easy.

"If I don't go now, I'll miss my flight." Kurt explained, as he gave his dad one more hug. "Send Carole and Finn my love! And tell Finn if he even steps in my room while I'm gone, I'll know. And he'll regret it."

"Go!" Burt chuckled. He didn't move until Kurt had vanished from sight. He didn't leave the airport for a while longer still. Carole and Finn's presence would undoubtedly soften the blow, but he wasn't looking forward to going back to his house without Kurt.

* * *

After checking in and boarding, Kurt sat back in his seat on the plane and took a moment to let all his fears wash over him at once.

_What if living in New York wasn't everything he dreamed it to be? What if Rachel had been exaggerating all week and their apartment was a dive? What if everyone hated him? What if it was worse that Lima? What if he was mugged, or murdered or worse, NYADA realised they made a mistake and wouldn't let him in? What if-_

Kurt mentally checked himself. No. It was no time for thoughts like that. He was about to embark on the greatest adventure of his life. New York was going to be magical. His Junior Year trip to nationals would be but a taste of his new life to come. There would be so much to do, what with classes and work. He'd find a part time job so he could go to all the Broadway musicals he'd always dreamed of seeing. He'd seen pictures of their apartment. It was small – compact, the website had read – but it was perfectly adequate with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a combined kitchen and living area. He'd be perfectly safe and NYADA was going to love him. He mentally replayed the words of Carmen Tibideaux in his head, as he often did when he needed a self-esteem boost. He considered pulling out his acceptance letter, but deemed it pointless; he'd already committed it to memory.

"_Mr Hummel, we are pleased to inform you that we think you would make an excellent addition to the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts…." _

Yes, everything would be perfect. Kurt turned to look out the window at the runway. This was only the beginning.

* * *

The plane was taking on its final passengers. Kurt tried not to be annoyed with them, but he saw no reason why everyone couldn't arrive on time – or better yet early. He looked at the vacant seat beside him and just hoped it was going to remain so. The flight to New York may only be just over an hour, but he didn't want to be stuck next to someone who tried to talk to him the whole time, a crying or obnoxious child, or worse still, someone with a cold…. He'd much rather the peace and quiet of solitude to reflect on his new life a head.

He almost thought his wish was granted, when he was rudely pulled from his thoughts.

"No, no, no, this can't be right. I clearly told the airline not to seat me next to someone with a gay face. I might catch it."

Sebastian Smythe. Of all the people in the entire world who could have been on this flight, it had to be _him. _And he just had to be sat here. _Fantastic._ New York was ruined.

"I'm surprised you're not on the no-fly list," countered Kurt, "But then again, if the plane goes down I suppose we can all use your ego as a floatation device."

"Please. If the plane goes down, it will because I'm driven to suicide after 15 minutes with-"

Almost as soon as the insult left his mouth, Sebastian instantly regretted it. It was unspoken, but they were clearly both reminded of David Karofsky. Kurt stared up at him, his eyes a mix of annoyance and antipathy. "-whatever. Can you move your purse so I can sit down?" Sebastian continued.

Kurt placed his bag under his seat in silence, pointedly turning away from Sebastian to look out the window once more. He couldn't pretend it was particularly interesting – a runway, some grass, the terminal he'd just been sat in…. there's was nothing particularly riveting but it was better than the alternative; better than being faced with Sebastian.

Kurt wished he could text Blaine. Text Finn. Or Rachel. Or Santana. Anyone who could take his mind off where he was sat and keep him sane for the next 90 minutes.

Kurt didn't look at Sebastian as the flight crew preformed their final checks of the cabin. He didn't look at Sebastian as they demonstrated the safety procedures. He didn't look at Sebastian as the plane took off. He wouldn't have looked at Sebastian at all if he wasn't so incessantly annoying.

"Hey Kurt-" "Hummel-" "Kurt" "Princess, would you cut out the scorned lover routine, it's not making for a very interesting flight."

"Well I'm sorry if my lack of interest in you isn't very entertaining. Maybe you should have thought of these things _before you put my boyfriend in hospital._" Kurt seethed.

"I thought that was water under the bridge?"

"You thought wrong." Kurt replied with an air of finality. He reached for his bag under his seat and pulled out a magazine. Blaine had given it to him to read on the flight over.

"Vogue? Really Kurt?" questioned Sebastian. "If you want to prove you're gay, you just have to sleep with guys, not subject yourself to every stereotype known to man."

Kurt turned to the next page; he would not let Sebastian get to him.

"And for the record-" Sebastian continued, unrelenting. "-there is no way _that_ is coming back into fashion." He gestured to the article Kurt was reading. This was enough to pique Kurt's interest.

"And since when are you the guru on all things a la mode?" he enquired.

"I have a mom who's into the whole fashion thing," he explained, "And two sisters."

Kurt simply nodded. After another length of silence, Sebastian tried again.

"I heard you got into NYADA. Congrats."

"Thank you." Kurt replied; there was no point being rude regardless of how Sebastian made every cell in his body crawl. But he didn't feel the need to be particularly loquacious about it with Sebastian.

"And that annoyingly loud girl, Rachel too? Impressive after that spectacular choke." He continued.

Kurt took a moment to wonder if Sebastian just had some sort of problem, where he didn't think before he spoke and couldn't seem to quit while he was ahead. He then shook himself out of it and jumped to his friend's defence.

"Rachel Berry is a star. I can't think of anyone else who deserves Broadway more than her. She was under a lot of stress, and despite it all she still got a place." Kurt couldn't help but smile at how far his friendship with Rachel had come over the last three years. There is no way he'd ever have said such a thing back when they were sophomores. "She obviously showed more talent in those 16 bars than most people do in their whole life."

"But sadly, not enough for you to place at Nationals," Sebastian pretended to wince.

"It must have sucked for you being knocked out at Regionals. Who was it again that you lost to? Oh yeah, New Directions."

"You know, when you say New Directions all fast and angry like that it kind of sounds like….. never mind, I wouldn't want you to blush and priss-out on me."

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. "What are you even doing here?"

"Winding you up? It's kind of fun actually."

"Thank you, but that was pretty apparent. I meant why are you on a flight to New York."

"Same as you – College."

Suddenly, the image of Sebastian attending NYADA crossed Kurt's mind. He could sing, Kurt would give him that. And work an audience. Kurt had no idea if he was at all interested in musicals or theatre however….. Of course he was, it would make Kurt's life miserable so it was a definite possibility.

"Chill," Sebastian continued seeing the look of panic flash across Kurt's face. "don't worry your pretty little head about it – I'm not going to the same _college_ as you. As if I'd be caught dead prancing around a stage singing show tunes in tights…"

"So tell me, what does the great Sebastian Smythe deem worthy of his time?"

"Pre-med at NYU. But I'm Majoring at the Stern School of Business."

Kurt just nodded. "And how long will that take? Until you're a qualified Doctor that is?"

"4 years pre-med, 4 years medical and 3 years on placement." He explained monotonously.

"Great, that leaves me eleven years to get any and all medical treatment I'll ever need. Remind me never to get sick after that."

Sebastian laughed; a genuine laugh. Kurt couldn't help but smile back.

The rest of the flight was spent in relative amiableness. The odd question about summer was asked and answered. They talked about New York and what they were each looking forward to doing there. Blaine even came up into conversation once or twice, and after a rude but admittedly witty comment referring to their sex life from Sebastian, Kurt couldn't help but laugh out loud. It was then that he finally thought he might just be able to put the past behind them and tolerate Sebastian. After all, with Santana hundreds of miles away, he needed someone who could match his level of wit jibe for jibe.

Before Kurt knew it, the flight began its decent.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!" Muttered Sebastian mostly to himself.

"What is it?" asked Kurt, genuinely confused.

"My ears," he explained, covering the offending area with his hands. "They're blocked and feel like someone is stabbing the inside of them with tiny needles. Which is weird because after an hour of listening to you yap on, you think that my ear drums would be accustomed to that?"

Kurt rolled his eyes before looking out of the window again. New York. He was here. And in a few short minutes he'd be off the plane and be able to call the city his home.

* * *

After the plane landed and the engines shut down, Kurt and Sebastian wordlessly made their way to the baggage carousel together. They walked through security and out of the arrivals gate. Then they went their separate ways.

"I really am sorry, you know. For everything," Sebastian began. He knew it was his only time to say it.

Kurt bit his lip in thought, and just nodded. "Have a nice life, Sebastian."

"You too, Kurt Hummel."

* * *

As they parted ways, little did they know: this was only the beginning of their story.

* * *

**(I literally could not wait any longer to bring in Sebastian! TBC)**


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt arrived at his and Rachel's new apartment early in the afternoon. Most of his belongings had been shipped beforehand and were waiting in his room to be unpacked and organised. Rachel had offered to start before he arrived but he quite frankly told her '_there is no way I'm letting someone who thought it was impossible to own a sweater without a duck on it for two years go anywhere near my things._'

As soon as he opened the door he was enveloped in a tight hug from none other than Rachel Berry herself. "Oh, Kurt! I've been waiting for you to get here! We have so much to get done!"

"Let him at least get inside the apartment first, honey!" Laughed Leroy who grinned at Kurt's arrival.

"Your father's already phoned six times Kurt," announced Hiram as he joined the group. "If you haven't done so already, I suggest you give him a call to let him know you got here okay?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at his dad. "Thank you, I called him in the cab over here." Kurt turned to Rachel. "It was a proper yellow New York cab! We're really here!" The pair hugged again.

The four of them worked hard, long into the evening, unpacking Kurt's vast expanse of things and reorganising the communal areas again and again until both Kurt and Rachel were satisfied. It was no easy task combining the pair's conflicting tastes; Kurt found it difficult to admit Rachel had any taste what so ever.

After a while, Leroy and Hiram had left them to squabble among themselves as they offered to go to the shop and buy a few things that Kurt and Rachel realised they needed.

They returned hours later with dinner. "Who wants some authentic New York pizza?" Leroy exclaimed, much to Rachel and Kurt's delight.

It was close to midnight before Kurt was finally ready to call it a night. As Rachel said a final goodbye to her fathers, he slipped off to his bedroom to get ready for bed. Only then did he realise he hadn't text Blaine to let him know he'd arrived in New York, or that he'd found the apartment and unpacked. So he quickly typed out a message.

_Arrived okay and unpacked! Rachel wasn't insufferable at all. Well, not much. I might actually survive here long enough to come back and visit! Talk soon, Kurt x_

Eyelids droopy and body exhausted, he didn't notice he had saved the message to his draft folder.

He didn't notice until the next evening. He had spent the entire day running around New York City, arm in arm with Rachel, taking in some of the sights that missed on their trip to Nationals in their junior year. It was only when he returned to the flat, completely worn out, that he realised that Blaine hadn't text him back all day and found out why.

* * *

That evening, he and Rachel ordered take out again. Instead of eating in the living area with her, Kurt opted to retreat to his room so he could talk to Blaine while he ate. He switched on his laptop and loaded Facebook. After the texting mishap was resolved, they agreed to chat that evening at 9pm. Kurt had a couple minutes before Blaine came online, so he used the time to update his profile information.

He didn't expect the thrilling sensation that came with officially changing his location to New York City. It was right above the line that said 'In a relationship with **Blaine Anderson**.' Kurt didn't think his freshman self would have ever believed it either line would be true for him.

Blaine came online just before nine.

**Hey you :)**

_Blaine! I'm sorry again about yesterday, I was so tired from moving!  
You should have test me, silly!_

**Don't worry, I'm just glad you're having a good time! I didn't want to distract you from your New York adventure.  
Is it everything you thought it would be?**

"It is so much better!" Kurt thought to himself.

_It would be if you were here :)_

**Liar. I know you too well, Kurt Hummel. You're having the time of your life, with or without me!  
You're in New York!**

**Wow. **

**You're actually in New York.**

_How can you sound surprised? I've been talking about it for months!_

**It's just…. You're actually there. It just started to feel real…  
You're there and I'm here.  
It's just…. Weird. I don't know.**

Kurt frowned at his laptop, unsure quite what his boyfriend was getting at. He didn't have time to dwell on it, however, because Rachel was yelling at him from the living room.

"Oh my God, Kurt! Come here now! There's a thing about NYADA on the TV!" she all but squealed.

"Coming!" Kurt shouted back.

_Sorry, Rachel's summoning me! We'll talk again soon?  
Bye! Love you xx_

Just before Kurt logged out, a little red '1' popped up, indicating a new notification.

'You have a new friend request from **Sebastian Smythe**'

Kurt quickly clicked 'accept' and closed the laptop.

* * *

"Kurt," Blaine cried. "I just don't think we can do this. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to me…. It's over."

Kurt had been in New York for just over a month. It was October, and the trees in Central Park were fully showing their autumn colours. His timetable had been beyond hectic, with classes scheduled at the most inconvenient times. He usually had lessons first thing in the morning, and last thing in the evening, leaving him the rest of the day running round the city applying for part time jobs to fill his day and earn the rent money he was currently borrowing from his dad. By the time he was back in his apartment, it was dark and he had time to eat, shower and fall into bed. Then he'd finally have time to call his dad, or talk to Blaine. The calls had been dwindling over the last couple weeks especially, and text messages were sporadic at best. Kurt barely kept up with his own life enough to know what exactly was going on with Blaine. He tried to wish him good luck for a Biology midterm once, only to find out it was three days after Blaine had taken the test.

One day, Rachel was crying in the living room over how much she missed Finn and wished he was there with her. In the process of comforting his friend, Kurt thought to himself, he honestly had been too busy to miss his own boyfriend. The thought made him feel terrible. So as soon as Rachel reached a semblance of calm, he suggested she called her fiancé, as he went to his room to call Blaine.

Blaine sounded surprised to hear from him, and that broke Kurt's heart. He hated that his boyfriend sounded surprised that he made time for him.

They finally had time to chat about their lives, how they were feeling, what they were up to. It was nice, and Kurt thoroughly enjoyed chatting to Blaine properly for the first time in weeks.

As it got later, Kurt had to go to finish an assignment that was due in the next day. Blaine said he also needed to leave and rehearse a number he was preforming in Glee the following day.

"This was really nice." said Kurt, fondly.

"It really was," Blaine agreed. "How about we do it again tomorrow?"

Kurt was silent for a moment. "Tomorrow's actually not great for me. I have class starting at 8am, then an interview at this adorable little coffee place. Lectures running in the afternoon until 6pm and then I'm going out with Jenna and Michael from my course."

"Right, okay, well when can we talk?" asked Blaine, still processing the whirlwind of new information Kurt threw at him.

"Um…. Uh…. I don't know. I'll call you as soon as I can?"

"Kurt. You said that before and then-" Blaine's voice cracked. "Kurt, we haven't spoken in weeks."

"I know, it's just-"

"You've been busy. I know. I get it." Blaine interrupted. "But while you've been busy, I've been missing you and it hurts, Kurt. It hurts that you're not here, and it hurts that you're too busy to call. And then I feel guilty for wanting to pull you away from your new life in New York to make time for me. You should be out living in New York, not making time for some boyfriend back in Cowtown, Ohio."

"Blaine, you're not some Boyfriend! I love you!" Kurt cried. Blaine was crying and something inside Kurt broke. Kurt was always the crier, with Blaine comforting him. Now the tables were turned and Kurt couldn't do anything. He couldn't be with Blaine and hold him. He felt so helpless.

"Kurt," Blaine cried. "I just don't think we can do this. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to me…. It's over."

"Blaine, no!" Kurt gasped. "We can work through this!"

"Kurt, we've always been honest with each other. The last time we stopped speaking, Chandler happened and we almost ruined us. I can't let that happen again."

"So you want to give up all together?" Kurt asked bewilderedly. "We can fix this Blaine, look, I'll cancel on Jenna and Michael tomorrow and-"

"Kurt, no. That's the thing. I want you to have fun and be happy in New York. And I want to have fun and be happy in Lima. And that just can't happy if we keep this up. I love you Kurt, I love you _so _much. But this is literally breaking me. You realise I have absolutely no idea who Jenna and Michael are? I don't know what's going on in your life and I miss you _so_ much Kurt. I'm not saying any of this because I want to. But I feel like I have to."

Kurt could feel the desperation coming from Blaine's voice. Part of him wanted to drop everything; he wanted to get on a plane to Ohio, run into Blaine's arms and just kiss him. _Kiss him_ until they both forgot about everything that was just said.

But then another part of Kurt – his brain, perhaps? – understood where Blaine was coming from.

"You really think this is the right thing for us?" Kurt whispered. Even thinking about what he was going to say felt conspiratorial and wrong.

After a moment's thought, Blaine nodded to himself. "I do. I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now."

"Okay." Kurt took a second to collect his thoughts. "If that is really what you think…. I trust you Blaine. If that's what you think is best in the long run, then okay. But I want to make this clear, I'm only agreeing to this because I don't want to ruin us. I don't want us to be broken down beyond repair. One day, maybe-"

"Kurt, please don't. It's too painful to even think about 'one day,'" _when you might not be in it,_Blaine thought to himself.

* * *

Blaine and Kurt spoke for a few more painful minutes. They agreed that if they were really going to do this – if Kurt and Blaine were really going to break up – it would probably be best if they didn't speak to one another for a while. Kurt found this highly ironic.

"I thought us not speaking was the problem?" he asked.

"Then it shouldn't be too difficult." Blaine replied, sounding more coldly than intended.

After agreeing to no contact, they tersely hung up on each other, and their relationship.

* * *

**AN ~ You'll have to excuse the lack of Sebastian in this Chapter. This fic will be written in mostly Kurt POV, and I'm a klainer so it is very important to me to deal with Blaine in a fair and justified manner.  
Also, I apologise for the delay! I'm right in the middle of my exam period and I found this chapter incredibly hard to write. Later instalments should come quicker! I have the next …. 13 or so chapters all planned out! And the next chapter half written! :)  
Thanks a lot for your reviews! That's what motivated me to get this chapter up today!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"Kurt, thank you so much for earlier! I spoke to Finn and I feel a million times better! He might even come visit in a couple weeks and I was-"

Rachel stopped mid-sentence. She looked up and Kurt's eyes were red and watery. She leaped to his side. "Kurt, what is it?" she asked, with such genuine concern that Kurt couldn't help but break down into floods of tears.

She ushered him to the small twin settee, and sat him close to her.

Rachel waited patiently for Kurt to answer her. As soon as he started talking, he relayed the majority of his and Blaine's conversation to her in one go, afraid that if he stopped talking for too long he'd not be able to continue.

Rachel was quite simply stunned.

"Wow….. I mean, I never saw that coming. Did you know you and Blaine technically have been official longer that Finn and I?"

Kurt just starred at her.

"Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that. Just…. Wow, Kurt."

"Wow." Kurt agreed. The pair slumped back against the sofa cushions, and Rachel curled around Kurt, hoping her arms could be of some small comfort.

* * *

Kurt remained utterly miserable, day after day. Try as she might, Rachel just couldn't get him out of his funk. She tried cooking him a meal, baking him cookies, singing to him. When that didn't work, she even offered him the chance to sing a Barbra Song himself. As Kurt politely declined the offer, she realised it was going to be no easy task to help Kurt get over Blaine.

* * *

Kurt threw himself into his school work. He was very studious and conscientious by nature, always trying to do the best that he could. So to further take his mind of the break up, Kurt elected to take another class. It was quite late in the term, so he had a lot of catching up to do.

One lunch time, Kurt sat by himself in a small café which was down the road from his campus. He first stepped in the small coffee shop to apply for a job, much to no avail. The owner very politely told him there were no positions available. For the next three days, Kurt couldn't get the delicious smell of the café out of his head, so he eventually returned there for a drink after class. This soon became part of his routine and he'd often come and sit in the café to complete his classwork during the day.

Usually, he found the place peaceful and quiet. Unfortunately, that day he wasn't so lucky.

"Kurt, there you are!" exclaimed Jenna, a tall red-headed girl he shared many classes with. "We were wondering where you'd got to!"

Just on cue, Michael appeared next to Jenna.

Michael and Jenna were both fellow NYADA students. As Michael Hamilton, Jenna Heart, and Kurt Hummel, they were all sorted into the same tutorial group. Coincidently, they also shared a lot of their classes together. Before long, they knew each other's schedules as well as their own and would walk to and from their lectures in a trio. Of course, being NYADA students they all had a shared passion for performing, but as they spent more time together, they found they had more in common. Before long, they were friends.

For a moment, Michael looked at Kurt and then the table, before finally committing and pulling out a chair and joining him. Jenna followed suit.

"Sorry, I've been busy," mumbled Kurt.

Jenna looked at him sympathetically. Kurt had told them both what happened. They knew something was wrong the second he showed up at college the morning after his phone call with Blaine. Kurt didn't even try to lie to them; he didn't have the energy.

She placed her hand over his. "Kurt, we know you're upset. And of course you are, but you don't need to hole yourself away and mope. You were so, so excited to be in New York. And Blaine broke things off so that you would be free to enjoy everything to the full."

Michael nodded his agreement. "What's done is done, he gave you a gift. Embrace it."

Kurt watched them both awkwardly. "I just….. don't feel like doing anything."

"You're in a rut." explained Michael. "You're in a vicious cycle of moping and being depressing. And it's time to snap you out of it.

"I asked around and found a really nice bar not too far from here. So tonight, we're going out and you're coming with us. It will just be us, a few chilled drinks in a chilled bar between friends."

"I-"

"No!" interrupted Jenna. "No excuses. You're going. I will drag you there if I have to."

Kurt knew she'd live up to that threat, so reluctantly he agreed.

"We're going to have so much fun!" Jenna grinned.

* * *

Michael and Jenna told Kurt they'd personally escort him from his apartment to the bar. So after classes ended for the day, Kurt went back to his flat, had dinner and showered. Then he began the long process of choosing what to wear.

Even though Kurt really wasn't in the mood to be sociable, he figured he may as well _try_ to enjoy himself. And that would only happen if he was dressed impeccably. He eventually decided on a dark teal shirt that was just on the right side of being too tight. He paired it with black skinny jeans and a black skinny tie. It was quite demure for him, but striking enough that Kurt was happy with it.

Kurt was ready, with over half an hour to spare. He wondered into the living room to find Rachel. He thought he'd invite her along for the evening. She had done a lot for him for the last couple of weeks so he wanted to start making it up to her.

As he asked, Rachel's face fell. She then awkwardly told him she couldn't go out that evening because she and Finn and a Skype date.

Kurt's heart sank. He decided it would probably be best to wait in his room after that. He opened his laptop and saw that Jenna was online. He wondered if it was too late to cancel.

That's when it happened.

_**Blaine Anderson**__ went from __**in a relationship**__ to __**single**_

Kurt reread the sentence on his newsfeed a dozen times. Pain, longing and heart-ache washed over him. Kurt didn't want to be the first to change his relationship status. It seemed petty, but as long as it was there, he felt like there was a part of him still connected to Blaine. Since Blaine hadn't updated his profile either, Kurt figured Blaine felt the same.

He wondered what changed Blaine's mind. What pushed him to doing it all of a sudden?

He wondered if he had met someone.

Kurt slammed his laptop shut and fought back tears.

Before he knew it, there was a buzz on the intercom and Jenna and Michael were waiting for him.

It was time to go out, have fun and leave Blaine in the past once and for all, Kurt reasoned.

* * *

Kurt looked up at the sign incredulously.

"A gay bar. You've brought me to a gay bar?"

"Well yeah…." answered Jenna. Kurt just shook his head.

Michael looked slightly sheepish, but Kurt didn't know if it was because he felt guilty for the fact that they lured Kurt here under false assumptions, or because they were at a _gay bar._(Michael was straight. Jenna teased him about it relentlessly – how he was most likely the only straight man in a college with mostly women. )

"Well, come on then." Michael finally spoke. "Let's go in!"

"The sooner we're in, the sooner we can leave…" Kurt grumbled. Jenna elbowed him in the rib.

Kurt soon found himself sat awkwardly and alone on an uncomfortable bar stool. He was currently sipping his third drink, despite the fact that he had no idea what it actually was. He originally opted for a virgin cocktail, but Jenna and Michael resolutely refused. Instead, they selected him a fruity drink that very definitely contained alcohol. It was nice enough, and the floaty feeling it left him with was pleasant, so Kurt drank on even after his friends stopped.

Jenna and Michael had gotten up and left him somewhere during the second drink and they were currently dancing with each other very awkwardly. Well, Michael was dancing awkwardly. Jenna was having what looked like the time of her life. Alcohol clearly had a greater effect on her small frame.

The bar was nice enough, Kurt supposed. It certainly put 'Scandals' back in Lima to shame. The décor was more tasteful, the music current and the clientele were certainly younger and more attractive. What surprised Kurt most, however, was the attention he received. No fewer than a dozen men had shown some form of interest at Kurt, be it an elusive gaze or an unsubtle leer. Two men had even asked Kurt if they could buy him a drink, and a third asked him to dance. Kurt just looked incredulously at the first guy, a relatively attractive man Kurt would have guessed to be 20. He thought it was some sort of joke. But when the boy insisted his sincerity, Kurt politely declined. He was out to forget about Blaine and enjoy himself, not flirt with any random guy who walked his way. It would be easier, Kurt figured, if he didn't compare every person in the room to his ex-Boyfriend. He'd notice if a guy had gelled hair, brown eyes, wore bowties, was particularly short…. Basically, he managed to see Blaine in everyone around him.

Kurt stared wistfully at the dance floor, debating internally whether to join his friends to take his mind off things. He wanted to, but he was worried it would just bring back memories of the last time he danced in a club. With Blaine.

He was pulled from his decision making by the slurp of his straw; his drink was empty. So foregoing the dancing, he ordered a fourth mystery cocktail. He probably shouldn't have, but the three prior drinks had definitely affected his mental reasoning by that point. As he waited for the bartender to pour in brightly coloured liquid after brightly coloured liquid, he pulled out his phone.

11:27 pm

One New Message from **Rachel Berry**

_Hey Kurt! Just wanted to check you were having a nice evening_ :) xox

Kurt began to tap in a quick reply, regretting ordering another drink a soon as he realised how difficult texting was. He was pulled from his 7th consecutive attempt at correctly spelling "Hello," by a cough from behind him.

"Hey there, gorgeous," the person crooned into his ear. "I noticed you from across the bar an-"

Kurt turned around came face to face with none other than Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian, recognising Kurt as soon as he faced him, looked repulsed.

Kurt, recovering from his initial shock at seeing Sebastian, just laughed for what happened to be the first time in weeks.

* * *

**AN ~ Did you kind of forget about Sebastian up until now? I hope so, you were meant to! Kurt certainly did….But I can assure you, from now on, Sebastian will be back in full force! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian took a moment to compose himself after his spectacular misjudgement.

"Sorry, sweetheart, this is a gay bar. No girls."

"Says the supposedly gay guy who was just hitting on me?" Kurt glared.

"Well how was I supposed to know it was you when you actually look like a guy from behind? And tonight, you're even dressed like one too!"

Kurt didn't rise to the bait, so Sebastian continued. "What happened? They didn't let your feather boa collection through airport security?"

Usually, Kurt would have enjoyed the banter and offered an equally scathing retort. But, after everything he'd been going through over the last few weeks, he decided that he really just couldn't be bothered.

"Bite me, Sebastian."

Sebastian let out a throaty laugh. "No can do, princess. I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of that miniature boyfriend of yours.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Sebastian continued, "you're depriving my next date of my company."

Kurt didn't even notice when Sebastian walked away. Hearing Blaine referred to as his boyfriend again felt like a punch to the gut. He was surprised just how much it hurt, _just_ when he thought he was on the way to getting past it. It was if all the pain that Kurt had felt, that had gradually been dwindling since his phone call with Blaine, came back at once, intensified, with the sudden clarity behind the fact that _Blaine wasn't his boyfriend. _

Kurt had obviously known they were broken up. He had told people. But this was the moment it became real. A perfectly timed combination of the Facebook relationship status, Sebastian Smythe and alcohol was apparently what it took for Kurt to understand. He and Blaine were broken up.

Kurt was just grateful that Sebastian had left him before he had to correct him;_ 'I wouldn't want to see the satisfaction and smugness flash across his arrogant face,'_ thought Kurt, bitterly.

Kurt thought he was saved from reverting back into 'fully depressed mode' by Jenna and Michael returning from the dance floor. As he saw them heading in his direction, he couldn't help but survey the people they left dancing. Sebastian instantly stood out to him. He was currently dancing with a taller and older man. A combination of his good looks, confidence and adept hip movements had the other guy positively drooling over him. Kurt didn't know whether to feel impressed or disgusted. Fortunately, he didn't have to make up his mind because Jenna and Michael were soon by his side, laughing and smiling. And holding hands, Kurt couldn't help but notice.

"Kurt, it's getting late!" giggled Jenna.

"We have class tomorrow," added Michael by way of clarification. They kept passing shy glances towards each other and smiling when they caught each other's eyes.

"We're going to go now! Want to walk with us?" Jenna asked, seemingly innocently.

Kurt thought for a moment. "No." he finally answered. "You two go on ahead. I think I'll stay for a bit."

"If you're sure?" queried Michael.

Kurt nodded.

Kurt then watched his friends, arm in arm, leave the bar. Together.

…

…

…

'_Fuck this,' _thought Kurt a moment later as he blinked back the tears that were prickling at his eyelids.

Rachel and Finn. Now Jenna and Michael. Hell, even Sebastian had a warm body next to him. All of a sudden, Kurt felt completely and utterly alone and desolate and lost. He quickly got up and made his way to the bathroom so none of the other club-goers could see him cry and judge him, or worse, try to comfort him.

He locked himself in a bathroom stall and let his sadness wash over him. Tears poured down his face as broken sobs erupted from him. Kurt had cried plenty of times since the breakup – crying and emptiness were pretty much the only emotions he had felt since. But this was different. This was the first time that Kurt felt regret. He regretted letting go of someone who loved him so easily. That regret is what catalysed his next actions.

Kurt pulled out his mobile and shakily dialled in Blaine's speed dial number; not once before did it occur to him to remove it. Thanks to modern technology, Kurt successfully dialled Blaine's mobile, and listened to it ring. And ring. And ring and ring and ring.

Eventually if reached voice mail, and as soon as he heard Blaine's cheery "Leave a message!" Kurt broke down and told him everything he'd been feeling.

"I miss you so much, Blaine." He began, and as soon as he started the words poured out of him.

"I miss knowing you're there and I'm sorry we didn't talk much. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I miss you. Did I say that? I miss you so much." Kurt didn't care that he wasn't making sense; this was the closest he had felt to Blaine in weeks.

"Not talking to you is _killing me,_ Blaine. Everything is just work and school work and sleep. I miss having you to talk to when it gets too much. I miss texting you in the queue for coffee. I miss- I just miss you…." Kurt trailed off before collecting his thoughts again.

"I don't want to be single. I went to a bar today and I got hit on – hit on by _Sebastian Smythe_" he hissed the words like they were poison.

"I don't like my life without you in it. Please, call me back. Please." Kurt added with a concluding note of desperation before he finally hung up the phone.

He sat in the stall for a moment longer, wiped his eyes and composed himself. He was past tipsy-drunk and bordering on drunk-drunk, so he thought it was time to leave the bar and head home.

Kurt opened the door, and came face to face with Sebastian, who was leaning against the sink, watching him expectantly, as if he'd been there waiting for Kurt to come out, which Kurt figured he probably had.

"Biiiiiiig mistake." said Sebastian, smirking at Kurt.

Kurt scowled. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," Sebastian shrugged. "And I was hardly hitting on_ you_, don't flatter yourself. I was hitting on the guy facing away from me who had a nice ass who coincidently happened to _be_ you…."

Kurt watched him for a moment. "You think I have a nice ass?"

Sebastian laughed deeply. "You care what I think?"

Kurt just rolled his eyes and didn't know what to reply. After a moments silence, Sebastian finally spoke up again. "So, you and the pipsqueak….."

"Me and Blaine are broken up." Kurt finished for him. "So I'm currently surprised you're not running back to Lima now you know he's single…"

"Pft, why on Earth would I want to do that? We're in New York!"

Kurt smiled slightly. New York. He was actually there, the one consolation to breaking up with Blaine.

"So," continued Sebastian, "we're in New York, in a bar, with lots of guys and lots of alcohol. I suggest we go out and have a good time."

Kurt looked as if he were about to protest.

"You may as well have a good night, because as soon as you wake up you're going to remember that phone call and kick yourself for it. At least if you get back out there you'll be dancing near me so you'll at least have something good to remember about the night." Sebastian winked and turned and left.

If anyone asked Kurt, he would blame the alcohol for him following behind Sebastian, out of the bathroom and on to the dance floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt woke up well past lunch time with a splitting headache and flashbacks of the night before.

"_Fuck,"_ he hissed as piece by piece, the night's events slotted themselves together. In an attempt to block out the memory of what he concluded to be a pretty abysmal evening, Kurt pulled the comforter over his head. Or at least, he tried to. And he tried again. And again. In his hungover state, Kurt concluded that the quilt wasn't moving but he couldn't think dared to look up and see what was causing the resistance.

"Oh," was all he could say, as he saw the other body asleep in his bed, duvet wrapped tightly around them.

"Oh..." he repeated more wearily, but before he could elicit further reaction from himself, he passed out back into a restless drunken sleep.

* * *

_**The Night Before**_

* * *

As Kurt reached the dance floor, he spotted Sebastian instantly; he fitted in with all the other dancers so seamlessly, but still managed to stand out like a beacon.

Kurt awkwardly shimmied towards Sebastian without even consciously being aware of his actions. His cocktail fuelled haze was definitely in control of his movements at this point in the night. When he was a only a couple of feet away from Sebastian, he began gracelessly trying to move with the music and the crowd, but not really successfully managing either. Years of Glee club and Cheerio practice quickly fell undone. No amount of swaying in the background could have prepared him for dancing under the effects of copious amounts of alcohol.

After a short while, Sebastian finally caught his eye and pulled him next to him. They began dancing together, but at the same time decadently _not_ dancing together. There was quite a comfortable distance between the two of them and soon they were toing and froing to the music together, laughing and grinning and smiling. It was fun, Kurt had to admit - not exactly how he imagined spending his evening; dancing with _Sebastian Smythe_ – but there was no denying that he was enjoying himself.

There were groups and couples all around them, dancing and grinding, hot and sweaty, but that was nothing like what was going on between Kurt and Sebastian. But nonetheless, just dancing helped Kurt feel happier than he had in a very long time. And in his happy state of mind, Kurt surrendered to the music.

Sebastian chuckled, fondly if anything, as Kurt's movements became more confident and more erratic. Soon, Kurt's arms were flailing wildly, so Sebastian saw it upon himself to protect any other nearby dancers and forcibly hold Kurt's arms down by their sides. Sebastian felt lost. He just didn't _do_ this type of dancing. Dancing that didn't lead to… more unsavory movements, often in the back of clubs. So, after realising that it wasn't even one in the morning and there was no way in hell he intended to get home before three, Sebastian decided the only logical conclusion was to lead Kurt towards the bar for another round of drinks.

* * *

The pair sat down and Sebastian ordered himself a beer. He took in the sight of Kurt slumped pitifully on his barstool and decided he'd get him a glass of water in lieu of the much more tempting choice of a Shirley Temple. Extra cherries.

After a moment of silently drinking, "I don't get it…" Kurt slurred. "Why are you being nice to me?"

Sebastian sighed and looked to the ceiling, as if it was going to give him all the answers. It was a question he'd been asking to himself all evening. To be honest, he didn't really have a clue why he was being nice to Kurt. Kurt just looked miserable, and he was just dumped… And even though Sebastian himself was firmly against romantic relationships which lasted longer than a good blow job, he still felt a bit sorry for him.

"I don't know, alright?" Sebastian finally admitted. "You looked kind of really pathetic and seeing you sit there all miserable was definitely ruining my evening. I wasn't doing it for you; I was just trying to salvage the remains of my night."

Kurt continued to look dazed and confused, but he didn't look convinced.

Sebastian let out a dramatic sigh, and decided to try a slightly more honest approach. "Fine, I helped you because I'm not the complete jack ass I was last year. Happy? I mean, I'm not going to go and pull when I can see you sat their sobbing over your cocktail….I'm not going to screw over a friend for that." Sebastian grinned. "Unless he's into that," he added and then winked, over dramatically.

Kurt bit his lip. "Since when are we friends?" He asked, timidly.

"Since…. We both survived the hell hole that is Lima Ohio and made it out the other side."

Sebastian clinked his beer bottle against the side of Kurt's water glass. Kurt nodded, and lifted his drink to return the gesture.

"To escaping Lima," Kurt muttered. Sebastian nodded in return.

"Now, no more questions. Just concentrate on not falling off of your seat," Sebastian concluded. "It's not like you're going to remember any of this tomorrow, anyway…"

* * *

Three beers and two glasses of water later, Sebastian was considerably drunker than before while Kurt was considerably more sober.

The pair had reached an equilibrium stage of drunkenness.

There had been talking and laughing. Kurt's eyes betrayed him and had threatened to cry again at one point, but Sebastian talked him down from the ledge and distracted him with some impromptu karaoke when a song came over the sound system that they both knew.

"I'm impressed," teased Sebastian, "Who knew your repertoire included more than Broadway and girl songs?"

"I'm just impressed you were able to sing without fifteen boys do-whopping behind you. Not that you'd have minded, I'm sure."

"I'm sure we could find a few volunteers if we were to take ourselves to the dance floor?" Sebastian gestured towards the sea of men dancing that had accumulated over the night.

"But I don't want any of those guys-" Admitted Kurt solemnly.

"I know, I know, you only want Blaine-"grumbled Sebastian, as

"No no no, s'not what I meant!"Kurt interrupted, as he promptly fell forward and pressed his lips to Sebastian's, pulling him into a messy kiss.

* * *

Sebastian returned the kiss for a moment; he was pretty drunk and he usually wasn't too fussy when an admittedly attractive guy wanted to kiss him. Then realisation dawned that it was _Kurt Hummel_ that was kissing him and the mist in his brain vanished so he could think clearly.

He pulled back abruptly, all the while holding Kurt steady as he threatened to fall forwards. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he muttered, to no one in particular, looking around helplessly for inspiration on what to do.

"Kurt?" He asked gently, as the other boy looked up at him curiously.

"Sebastian?" He eventually replied, in the same questioning tone.

Sebastian just sighed. "I think it's time you went home," he finally decided.

"Wait, no, sorry!" Kurt babbled furiously, trying to find the words to undo what just happened. He just _kissed_ Sebastian Smythe. '_Why!'_ He couldn't help but ask himself. He knew why. Sebastian was nice to him. He was looking out for him and Kurt had always been a sucker for chivalry, regardless of how remote. '_Plus, he's nothing like Blaine...' _a voice in his head couldn't help but remind him.

"I don't know what came over me, I just-"

"Save it, Hummel. " Sebastian watched him for a moment, pitifully leaning against the bar trying to act a lot more sober than he evidently was. Sebastian stood up and headed for the exit as Kurt, with no better idea of what to do, followed.

Once outside, Sebastian hailed a taxi, a yellow cab. It stopped almost instantly which Sebastian was grateful for as he didn't know what to say. He wordlessly opened the door and as Kurt slid inside he prompted him to tell the driver his flat's address. _This_ Sebastian could handle. He had a goal and a purpose - to get Kurt the fuck away from him so that neither of them did anything they regretted and he could continue his evening as if Kurt was never there. No longer feeling lost, Sebastian handed over more than enough money to cover the taxi fair. He then shut the door.

"You're not coming?" asked Kurt, curiously.

"No." said Sebastian, "I'm done baby sitting. I don't know what you were trying to pull, but I can _assure you_ it wasn't going to be me. Sorry, you're not my type. Although there was a pretty gorgeous blonde in there who could be..."

With that, Sebastian turned and made his way back to the club. Alone.

* * *

Phone History of **Sebastian Smythe **

* * *

_**Sent - to KURT HUMMEL (02:12)**__  
Just checking you got in okay?_

_**Sent - to KURT HUMMEL (02:35)**__  
Kurt, let me know you got home okay._

_**Sent - to KURT HUMMEL (02:59)  
**__I'm going to assume you're either passed out our having a hissy fit._

_**Inbox (2) – from +447 342 633  
**__Had a gd time, if you want to hook up again give me a text. __**(3:33)  
**__It's Conner, btw. __**(3:33)**_

_**Inbox emtied.**_

_**Outbox – **__**Messages not sent**__  
God HUMMEK YOURE NOTW even here and youve managesd to piss me offd. __**(3:47)**_

_Sorryh, i was a dick. But you fuckging kissed me. __**(3:48)**_

_Fuck. __**(3:48)**_

_Fuck Fuck Fuck . __**(3:49) **_

_**Sent - to KURT HUMMEL (4:11)**__  
Good night. _

* * *

**_AN \\ Firstly, I am SO SO SO sorry for the delay in updating. First I had exams, then my laptop broke (and took with it my draft and all the chapters I'd started to write!) But no more excuses, I have plenty of free time this summer so I should be able to update this pretty regularly - if I don't, I give my permission for you to bully me into it. Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing! It really spurred me on to get back into writing this! So keep 'um coming - what did you think?_**

_**TBC**  
_


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